Interview with an Idiot

There comes a time in every managers tenure, that one must consider the questions and procedures of an interview must change. With a plethora of pondering and possibilities of skills that one possesses, why does it seem to fit to still ask those dreaded redundant questions of old? These are the questions not of which focus on what the achievements and accomplishments of the interviewed or the possibilities of future such instances but the questions that have the highest potential to be a look into an imaginary world of self-assurance and ass kissing.

With the deep sedated pool of available talent looking for employment, one desires to find the best individual for the position. Therefore it is only logical to ask questions that will isolate the distinct individual just right for the job. These questions are micro specific and focuses on the field and position, not questions of the macro general field of desires, aspirations and dreams.

I am bringing this up because in the second round of interviews for a position at my company, our idiotic and lazy (to say the least) Finance Director must have not had enough energy to think of logical questions to ask and instead scour the internet for the top 10 basic interview questions and decided that was good enough. God forbid he actually for once uses his own words to ask or explain anything. His questions were the exact questions you would hear in an interview for a fast-food chain or basic job.

The following will show the questions asked with a proud grin and the answers I would have loved to hear:

Q: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

A: I see myself alive and wondering why you were even invited to this interview.

Q: Why are you looking for a new place to work? (no joke, it was actually asked this way)

A: Because it was too boring. When I get bored with something I move on to something more exciting.

Q: What are your greatest strengths?

A: Putting up with redundant and useless questions. Oh and I can bench 325.

Q: What are you weaknesses?

A: My traveling joint pain, which causes me to take time off to work without notice.

Q: What is your work ethic like, you know in terms of working? (again not a joke, actually per datum)

A: Well I like to wake up around 8 or 9 and eventually make it into work, then I require at least a 45 minute nap either before or after lunch and I do not like working over time. Also I will not do anything outside the scope of my job description.

Q: In your mind why should we hire you? (seriously? I didn’t expect the interviewed to answer that question with someone elses thoughts)

A: Because you need someone to fill the position and I want a posh secure job that doesn’t require a lot of effort.

Related articles

• You got the interview… now what? (stay-positive.com)
• Change Your Interview Strategies to Find the Right Employees (itprosusa.com)
• Top Ten Oddball Job Interview Questions (jobcrowd.com)
• Advise to a future employer (thiscircleofquiet.wordpress.com)
• TheEmployable Interview Tips : How to Answer ” What are your salary expectations?” (theemployable.com)
• The number one question to ask in your job interview (conduitsourcing.wordpress.com)
• 10 reasons why you don’t know why you do what you do #MRX (lovestats.wordpress.com)
• In Praise of Idiocy (mightyfee.wordpress.com)
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UC system are crooks – Stresser of the Day

Insensitive Ruler

So I just got word today that the UC system is changing all non-exempt employees to bi-weekly pay periods. This means a few things. First of it puts me right back into the deep stress that I worked hard to get out of. Second it means that measly pathetic 3% increase means absolutely shit and Third it means I will have at least $400 less per month to live off of. Not that UC President Mark G. Yudof gives a rat ass, he is making his millions along with the 6 useless deans and lawyers that just got an average of %15 raises; all in the name of keeping the “high quality staff” on board.

Hey Mr. Yudof, how about the true high quality staff that actually makes the UC system work on the day-to-day basis. If the UC system is receiving and going to receive less monetary backing from the state why on earth are you giving high staff positions (which are not necessary) massive raises? the UC system cannot afford it. Now we know why this state is so fucked up and going down the toilet. That is because we have incompetent and insensitive people in power and running things who have no idea what they are doing. In my field we are getting paid at minimum $30,000 less than the median salary in the Los Angeles county in the IT field. President Yudof, do you really think a 3% raise is going to keep your staff from leaving? If you think that is true, then you are as blind and foolish as the snobby UC Regents are.

On top of all that the UC system now wants to ban smoking on all of its campuses, real smart, you will have under paid, over stressed employees with no way to release that stress on a daily basis; for those that smoke. I sense alot of jumping ship happening soon, lucky this is the US Postal service, we all know how crazy those individuals are.

Funny thing is though, technically the location I work within the UC system, we do not even get paid by the state of California, we get paid by the federal government. When asking for a raise or re-class from the over-paid, severely under worked superiors, it’s always the same, oh we can’t afford it. BULLSHIT you can’t afford it. You don’t need those 6 figure salaries, why do you think you deserve those types of salaries. Just because you have a PhD, big deal, it’s a piece of paper. You do not know how to run a business, let alone care about your employees.

So I am giving my employer a choice, either give me a raise, re-classify my position or I am quitting. I wont be able to afford to go into work everyday, with a minimum of $400 less per month out of my living expenses. They say they want to keep high-quality staff on board, well they are going to lose one if they don’t do something soon. And yes I consider myself a high-quality staff member, because no one in my department knows how to do what I do.

Related articles

• UC campuses will ban smoking (latimesblogs.latimes.com)
• SFgate.comUC system bans smoking, chewing of tobacco (sfgate.com)
• UC system to ban smoking, chewing tobacco (mercurynews.com)
• UC system banning smoking from all campuses (sfgate.com)

Incompetent hiring causes lost revenue – Irony of the Day

Image by Timothy Wildey via Flickr

Once again, the company has proven that employing competent and qualified individuals is not their forte. As those in charge of this company, sit in their offices conducting unproductive banter, there I sat in my office chair, staring in  bewildered astonishment, reaching for invisible hair on my head that was once there. They laugh and ponder their next accomplishment to steal more money from the government, as my mind stirs at the notion that a rudimentary mistake by the individual that I replaced, may have caused the company to lose tens of thousands of dollars over the course of 10 years.

Astonishing at that may sound, the higher-ups actually believe that this rookie developer (Craig is his name) had the skills and management ability to set up and run their databases and business solutions. In actuality, this lame duck of an individual, couldn’t program his VCR if he had the opportunity. They speak of him as someone who helped the company and are still proud that he did what he did. As chance has it, they would not be too proud if they realized that a simple and should logically be realized skill could have the potential of past loses of the tens of thousands of revenue. This is one of the reason I chuckle every time I hear one of these moronic boobs

Can I say it please? – Irony of the Day

So you all know by now, my stance on the ignorance and basic lack of business knowledge that plagues the upper management in my company. Today happened to be one of those days that I can puff out my chest raise my head and look my immediate boss in the face and say…. “HA! I told you so!!!”

Let me explain. We had a beach blonde, bad Snooki tan surfer chick, whom was hired on 2 years ago to run some things for us. She was bossy, bitchy and thought that since she has a PhD, she was the shit. She would come in late, carrying her surfboard, work two hours and then leave. Other times she would supposedly “work from home” (i.e. She was surfing) and other times not work at all. Out of a total of the 2 years she was with the company I probably saw her a total of 6 full months. Her ignorance came from the lack of basic computer knowledge and the boondoggles she constantly came up with to make things better for the business application that I am in charge of. I let a few slide by because they were good ideas but the others were just those pesky “pet projects”