Category Archives: People

Apr 30 2012

Here’s half the rent – Laugh of the Day

I haz April Foolz lolcats. Intended for use on...

Ok so this may be almost a month gone past but I was just wondering, what is your most memorable April Fools Joke?

Here is mine that almost was:

Starting at the beginning of this year, each month, I re-landscaped a different section of my rented house’s yard. I purchased fist size river rock, flowers and shrubs and other stuff to make it look nice. All-in-All I think the total cost so far for everything has been around $500. Ok wait, let’s rewind a little so I can give you a synopsis of the house I am referring to. The house that I am renting is as 2-bedroom, all hardwood floor single story family home. It has a laundry room, nice size kitchen with a dining area, a huge living room and two good size bedrooms and a full bath, all for the low price of $1000. I am not saying that sarcastically, as single bedroom apartments in my area go for well above $1300 a month. The lady I rent from is wonderful and sweet. Although she cannot find employment and has some serious health problems she usually finds a way to smile and laugh.

Ok back to the fool’s joke. Come April 1st, rent day, I thought to myself “Hmmmm, I am gonna scare my landlord in believing that I am stiffing her on some of this months rent.” Now granted she has had past tenants that have completely skipped out on paying rent and she has had some very horrendous tenants in the past, that’s why I have to pay with a money order or cashiers check each month. So what I did was split the rent into two equal cashiers checks. I wrote a note explaining that I am only going to pay half of the rent for the month of April as I am taking the other half away for the landscaping I did. I placed it in the envelope and proceeded to walk up to her door to place it in the mailbox, then my phone rang…

Me: “Hi Devon.”
Callie: “This is Callie Matt, my mom is in the ER.”
Me: “What happened?”
Callie: “You know she hasn’t been feeling well after the cancer scare she had? Well she is having a hard time breathing but looks like she is doin ok.”
Me: “Oh tell her she is in my prayers and I hope she feels better.”
Callie: “I will, were you planning to drop the rent off tonight?”
Me: “Yeah I was just about to drop it off. Want me to wait?”
Callie: “Yeah could you, we should be home tomorrow.”
Me: “Ok, see ya then. Bye.”

As I slowly turned grudgingly slouched to my car, I chuckled at the irony. Upon returning the next day, I explained to my landlord what I was gonna do and as her eyes opened wide, she broke a smile and said, “Thank god you didn’t cause that would have sent me into a coronary.” I gave her the full rent and after hung out for a while to chit-chat. You see, any landlord who treats their tenants great like she does, deserves to be respected in return, the tenants should be happy to make their home look nice in turn making sure that their landlords home is kept up.

Ok so mine was kind of anti-climatic. Now let me hear your Joke for the April fools in your life?

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Feb 17 2012

Hurry up and wait – Laugh of the Day

You see the signs in other countries that translate to English something strange or funny. You get a good chuckle or a quick scratch of the head to try to comprehend if it is even possible. But what happens when a sign written in plain English is written so absurdly that you have to snap a picture and show it off to everyone.

I frequent a local gas station many times on my way home from work throughout the year. The employees are friendly and great and know me by name. They offer everything you can think of in a convenience store, even fresh fruit. Most of the foods and drink there you can purchase, open and enjoy immediately. Now take a look at the photo and tell me what is wrong with the photo.

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Feb 10 2012

Let’s smoke it! – Thought of the Day

Some Kills

Every ponder the thought of a group of individuals, sitting in a lab mixing chemicals such as Butane, Ethanol, Acetic Acid, Ammonia, Butter, so many different types of oils that even the Saudi Arabian oil fields would be jealous, oh and through in a few tobacco leaves, and after this concoction is created they say “MMM this cesspool of harmful chemicals and natural additives that people use sound so good, Hey I know what we can do! Let’s smoke it!!!!” And there you have it, the common day cigarette. I am thinking I need to quit

Feb 8 2012

Healthy eating leads to health issues – Thought of the Day

52 Weeks - Week 5 - Food Allergy and Intoloren...

Isn’t it ironic that just about the time when health issues and these ridiculous food allergies started rearing their ugly heads about the same time all of those health nuts and parent advocacy groups started forcing government and food processors to replace the great yummy stuff we experienced within our foods and stop giving meat and poultry steroid injections. I mean when I was a teenager I never heard of anyone having allergies to peanuts.

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Feb 6 2012

The Don of Anti-Mafia’s – Laugh of the Day

Mafia Sign - Paris France

So there I was heading out of my office to get some refreshing ice-cold water, when I see two young adults standing at my colleagues door. To what do my curious ears hear, they informing him that at our place of employment, the young IT programmers are trying to start a union (better term is mafia) and was wondering if he wanted to sign a petition and get information in regards to what the mafia has to offer. As I strolled past I let out a loud, “Oh Hell No!!!, imagine referring to your union as P.U. for Programmers Union, it will work just as bad as it sounds.”

Leisurely strolling back around the corner, still laughing at the thought of the P.U., I see these two yahoo mafia inductees standing in my door. The look on their face was priceless; A stern, proud, and aggressive demeanor but their eyes showing fear, they begin opening their sewage holes about joining the P.U.. Their failed attempt of looking tought, was met with my bald-headed thug glare to their nervous eyes, and I promptly said “Don’t even think about talking to me about a union, they are a corrupt group of mafia impersonators only wanting to take advantage of people, promote laziness, corrupt the government and are a waste of time.” I sat down and they stepped forward continuing to spew union garbage. I stood up, walked towards them and as soon as they passed through the doorway to my programming sanctuary, I kicked the doorstop away and slammed the door in their ignorant faces. After, I heard a loud laugh coming from behind me, through my colleagues wall. And I hear faintly, “Only you can get away with that kind of stuff!! Nice job!”

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