Failing From Facebook – Irony of the Day

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...

In my virtual mailbox, I occasionally receive the old adages of fond memories of the days past.

You know the ones I am talking about?

Those pesky pleasantries that talk about how, when we were younger, when we wanted to exercise we would get out and break in our new converse using them as brakes for down hill racing on our bikes.  Or playing a plethora of pilgrimage games with all the children in the neighborhood. Or when we wanted to talk to our friends, we would actually leave the house for hours on end and actually have face to face fond forums with them. When we wanted to make new friends, we actually put out an effort to hunt down those positive persons of young perpetual growth to experience life together and enjoy those warm summer days having fun. Notice a pattern here my fellow stressee’s. We all had to put out a valiant vigilant effort to do what we desired.

Then came the internet. Oh the joys of the internet, the one tool that single-handedly turned our sunshine suburb streets, that once bustled with children’s laughter and speech into a desolate zombie wasteland. However, as the years progressed a new villain has come into the picture.  Not only can children nowadays exercise their wrist and fingers on a clunky keyboard, but now they can exercise their arms by holding up a phone and joining the masses into a multitude of conversations with friends and fantasy friends of far away places without leaving their beds.

Just imagine waking up in the morning holding that powerful portable problem of dissociation in your hands and saying to yourself.. “I want to make some new friends today… Oh hey I will request this person as a friend,” “click” goes your thumb, and that process goes on till you receive a warning from your friendly Facebook foreman saying you have requested too much. And there you go, in under 30 minutes without even lifting a leg you made 50 new friends, and 49 of them you will never see or talk in person, let alone have any meaningful conveluted conversations with.
If you want to talk to your friends you can snuggle yourself into a corner with the television and radio blaring and hold a full formidable conversation with your “friends”, that if it was in person or actually through the telephone part of your phone (yes cellphones do have that functionality still) your conversations would be faster and you can get more done and said. Instead you type away, hit send, wait for a response, then you begin nibbling at the nubs that were once your fingernails in anticipation of your friends response… Oh here it is, you read, type again and hit send… and the cycle repeats. Look at that, you had a full conversation for 4 grueling hours that could have been a 30 minute race of speech if done the old way, instead you waited around for a total of almost 3 hours for responses and correcting your uneducated typing.

It is a pathetic shame that in today’s society, children prefer to neglect everything and everyone around them just for a long night of finger Facebooking their phones to death. Educational studies, home responsibilities and relationship responsibilities have become a dire distressed entity of the past. My generation and back are and have been successful, we have achieved our goals acquired our dreams and hopes by doing drab leg work, hitting the pavement and making things happen. Today’s children are lazy, becoming uneducated and anti-social in terms of live human interactions all because of the Social Media age.

Thanks Facebook for failing our future.

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Tormented Talking Taxis – Stresser of the Day

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead.

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Each morning, driving through the cornucopia of cellphone talking, newspaper reading and fattening breakfast burritos eating drivers on one of the major Southern California highway’s is enough to make anyone go mad with blissful banter of bad behaviors. However, those individuals are not the true stressors of my daily commute. No, they are easily dealt with through a quick hand-slam on the steering wheel to break them out of their comatose state of endless dreary driving. The true culprit’s of my impending arrival to another drab day at work are the relentless droves of Blue and White taxi drivers standing in the middle of the street, smoking their “Camels” and engaging in idle banter of the next rising of Allah.

Around the bend, following the posted speed limits, the treaded tires grip the road, the gas pedal becomes a static stick in the floor as the brake pedal becomes an emergency bail out of epic proportions. A group of tainted taxi drivers stand vicariously close to the center of the road. Lethargecally laughing at their devious terror plots to cause an accident, they grin in the direction of the driver with their smoke-stained hollowed out unorganized mouth of teeth peaking from their ratty dark beards. The hand slams on the horn, blaring a high-octane raging horn in the inconsiderate imbeciles, seems to have no effect. Their cynical stares into the windshield, rudely running a dagger of hate into the drivers eyes angers him so. The merciful middle finger extension acquires a somewhat disdained reaction of the same. Words of incriminating evidence for hate for both taxi drivers and race, finally, a rebellious reaction to the blast of discrimination not to mention the screeching of the revved up rear axle wheels beginning to barrel down on the group. The groups hurriedly moves to the side and an early morning yelling match spews onto the street as the driver slows the pace to exchange words with the pustulous persons of the taxi world.

Every morning, not just myself but other drivers have to deal with these iconic idiots of the taxi world on the way to work. They have no due diligence to mind traffic laws driving nor do they mind any laws with impeding of thru traffic on streets. Get the hell out-of-the-way or someday one of you will be turned into a speed bump by a unknowing unobservant driver.

Hibernation is over for your senior stressee

Hibernation

Oh ye, year of 2012, how you had flown by.

Welcome back, my dear daily stressees’, oh how long it has been. Come summertime, and your lead stressee decided to take a long hibernation to focus on critical items of interest. I have missed you all so.

A quick catchup query of the second better half of our old 2012 satirical stresses have a common sound.

We had our glorious grown grey matter morons
still not comprehending everyday social activities and interactions,
Only concerned for science the universe
Mathematics as multiplication, division, subtraction and additions.

A cynical sound of major irritation
that drives the nerves to quiver,
We cannot stop those irritations
just shake our head and allow our body to shiver.

Frustrations of sound prejudice
without a hint of easement or relief,
Trying to stop the insanity around would be futile
through sharp tongue and without error of disbelief.

Even political, maniacle resolution
that will be the cause of demise of our nation,
Through greed, treason and incompetence
we all begin year 2013, in a resolve clean relaxation.

Hibernation for this young cub is a rare instance indeed, and promises of promiscuous paraphrasing will be abundant this year. Let us keep our frigid fingers crossed in hope this year will be just as energetically enjoyable as the last.