Required standardized chaos, Participation optional

The befuddled banner banter may confuse the mind, however the comprehension of the target of why this is uttered will bring forth a luminous understanding and a quick chuckle.

Imagine if you will, the deep pockets to your company along with five of your sister companies, has had it up to the proverbial chin with the constantly inconsistent data they receive from half of your group. The financier’s toady proceeds to gather the heads of the IT departments to inform all, in order to appease the deep pocket gods, a software package to normalize all of the incoming data is required. Over the past half a year, requirements have been presented, removed and altered. Half of the companies are in full agreement with such a normalization software package as well as utilize such. However, the other half, the half that are the culprits to the bad data are opposed to the entire idea.

And on the seventh month, the gods stepped down and noted, all data within the reports are required to be standardized using the forthcoming software, but it is an optional step…

Yes, please scratch the imaginary question mark and try to make sense of the conundrum.

Now, imagine the deep pockets come from none other than the “by the book” Federal Government. Excuse the momentary delay, while the tongue is firmly removed from inside the cheek. Now, do not consider this as a current administration faux pas, as this type of conscience confusion has been in existence well before the unfiltered hyperbole of the current administration took office.

Therefore, in a world where standardization should be the norm, when chaos ensues, optional requirements is not an oxymoron that one wants to hear. Intelligent deep pockets appear to be synonymous to the infamous jumbo shrimp.

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Failing From Facebook – Irony of the Day

Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...

In my virtual mailbox, I occasionally receive the old adages of fond memories of the days past.

You know the ones I am talking about?

Those pesky pleasantries that talk about how, when we were younger, when we wanted to exercise we would get out and break in our new converse using them as brakes for down hill racing on our bikes.  Or playing a plethora of pilgrimage games with all the children in the neighborhood. Or when we wanted to talk to our friends, we would actually leave the house for hours on end and actually have face to face fond forums with them. When we wanted to make new friends, we actually put out an effort to hunt down those positive persons of young perpetual growth to experience life together and enjoy those warm summer days having fun. Notice a pattern here my fellow stressee’s. We all had to put out a valiant vigilant effort to do what we desired.

Then came the internet. Oh the joys of the internet, the one tool that single-handedly turned our sunshine suburb streets, that once bustled with children’s laughter and speech into a desolate zombie wasteland. However, as the years progressed a new villain has come into the picture.  Not only can children nowadays exercise their wrist and fingers on a clunky keyboard, but now they can exercise their arms by holding up a phone and joining the masses into a multitude of conversations with friends and fantasy friends of far away places without leaving their beds.

Just imagine waking up in the morning holding that powerful portable problem of dissociation in your hands and saying to yourself.. “I want to make some new friends today… Oh hey I will request this person as a friend,” “click” goes your thumb, and that process goes on till you receive a warning from your friendly Facebook foreman saying you have requested too much. And there you go, in under 30 minutes without even lifting a leg you made 50 new friends, and 49 of them you will never see or talk in person, let alone have any meaningful conveluted conversations with.
If you want to talk to your friends you can snuggle yourself into a corner with the television and radio blaring and hold a full formidable conversation with your “friends”, that if it was in person or actually through the telephone part of your phone (yes cellphones do have that functionality still) your conversations would be faster and you can get more done and said. Instead you type away, hit send, wait for a response, then you begin nibbling at the nubs that were once your fingernails in anticipation of your friends response… Oh here it is, you read, type again and hit send… and the cycle repeats. Look at that, you had a full conversation for 4 grueling hours that could have been a 30 minute race of speech if done the old way, instead you waited around for a total of almost 3 hours for responses and correcting your uneducated typing.

It is a pathetic shame that in today’s society, children prefer to neglect everything and everyone around them just for a long night of finger Facebooking their phones to death. Educational studies, home responsibilities and relationship responsibilities have become a dire distressed entity of the past. My generation and back are and have been successful, we have achieved our goals acquired our dreams and hopes by doing drab leg work, hitting the pavement and making things happen. Today’s children are lazy, becoming uneducated and anti-social in terms of live human interactions all because of the Social Media age.

Thanks Facebook for failing our future.

It’s the same damn thing – Irony of the Day

Why is it that when a regular person says things that are ridiculous, stupid or has no proof its called “Talk out of your ass” but when a politician, President, governor or mayor says the same things its called politics?

Just look outside for a change – Irony of the Day

English: Photo of a sunset on the Beach in Ven...

So yesterday morning I was listening to the ol’ faithful (loud throat clearing moment) Dallas Raines. He proceed to tell the viewing audience that it was currently sunny and warm with a slight chance of rain in the evening. I just happened to be stepping outside while I heard this “fortune-teller” like forecaster ramble on about the sunny days of Southern California, when I look up and what do I see. Not a single speck of blue sky anywhere. It was kind of hard to keep my head up from the raindrops that kept hitting my face. I looked left, then to the right, spun around jumped up and down, looked north and proceeded south, I couldn’t believe the lies that were coming out of his mouth.

For once I would like to see these weather forecasters with their multi-million dollar forecasting systems admit that they have absolutely no clue what it looks like outside. How hard is it to go out side look up and look at a thermometer and say “Good Morning, Southern California I am standing outside right now and as you can see on this thermometer, that it is a cold 51 degrees and there are numerous grey clouds out this morning. Be prepared for the possibility of rain.” This would make it seem more real that they actually know what they are talking about.

Hell, give me $100,000 a year and I will look outside and tell Southern California what the real weather is. And I bet I would get it right more often then the weather forecasters do.

Incompetent hiring causes lost revenue – Irony of the Day

Brandywine Hundred Fire Company, Delaware - Fa...

Image by Timothy Wildey via Flickr

Once again, the company has proven that employing competent and qualified individuals is not their forte. As those in charge of this company, sit in their offices conducting unproductive banter, there I sat in my office chair, staring in  bewildered astonishment, reaching for invisible hair on my head that was once there. They laugh and ponder their next accomplishment to steal more money from the government, as my mind stirs at the notion that a rudimentary mistake by the individual that I replaced, may have caused the company to lose tens of thousands of dollars over the course of 10 years.

Astonishing at that may sound, the higher-ups actually believe that this rookie developer (Craig is his name) had the skills and management ability to set up and run their databases and business solutions. In actuality, this lame duck of an individual, couldn’t program his VCR if he had the opportunity. They speak of him as someone who helped the company and are still proud that he did what he did. As chance has it, they would not be too proud if they realized that a simple and should logically be realized skill could have the potential of past loses of the tens of thousands of revenue. This is one of the reason I chuckle every time I hear one of these moronic boobs Continue reading