Insecurity vs. Red Flags

Insecurities, a bane to one’s self, a hindrance of progressing and a roadblock to many, is also a misread trait among couples, friend and family.  When it comes to the self, insecurities predominantly exist, when those insecurities are perceived to be directed towards another, there are quite a bit of times when it is not an insecurity but a red flag.

Red flags, we all know what these are. They are those pesky little things that go off in our head when we see things that remind us past moments, past actions and past downfalls. They are prevalent in our everyday lives, home-life, work, within family and friends and within the loving bonds of couples. Most people don’t say anything about it, while others do.

Now I am sure that there have been actions or words in my past, that has risen red flags, but has never been pointed out to me. To me, if I see a red flag I am going to say something about it, and here is why:

If a man keeps tight lipped, during questionable times or even loving times, when a red flag appears or keeps appearing, than that man is just not into his woman. 

A real man, one who cares about the relationship and his woman, would not be afraid to say something. A man who doesn’t say anything, could careless about either.

And this is true for women as well, if a woman doesn’t care who you are talking to, if you have tons of female friends and isn’t concerned if red flags appear, she just doesn’t care about her man or the relationship.

No, it’s not an insecurity someone has, it’s a Red Flag, it’s a “I’ve seen that shit before and it wasn’t good” thing.

So sit down with your loved ones, tell them the concerns you have over the red flags, work together to understand the reasoning behind it and make a concerted effort to bring down those flags. If you don’t talk about it, just walk out because you just don’t care.

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Above and beyond, Just Go!

pg6Another year past, another year ahead… of the same whining, complaining and dead end revolutions of the corporate world… Not this time!

You have read my banter of incompetence and the blind leading the blind and either found them quite amusing and tolerable or could even relate. Not surprisingly to say even to fathom, but those idiosyncrasies of the employment world exist and will never go away. So my fellow readers and daily stressers, what does one do about dealing with the inevitable? If you are anything like me, you will step up, shut people up, show and scold the higher-ups that you are one of the power houses in your company. You see I am like a well-versed travel agent. I tell people where to go and where to go to get the best bang for their buck.

Every year, your life should have those defining moments that make up who you are and what you believe in, no matter regardless of how insignificant or grandiose those moments may be. Whether it be a small email to the head honcho saying how excited it is for a new project at work to commence, or extreme measures of getting into someones personal space and showing them reality. Your actions and words at work define who you are as a person and as an employee, dedicated and indispensable or gabby and a disposable asset. Which one are you, or will you be this year?

A short description of my basic characteristics while I am at work, I am known as “The Bear,” yes that is my nickname at the office. That alone should give you some idea of how I am at work. I hunker down and get things done, focused and determined to get what I need done. I utilize and take advantages of the things and people around me that I know can gain me knowledge and a clearer path to my destination. When things aren’t quite right around me, I let it be known and loudly. And, if I don’t like you and find you useless to the cause or organization I let it be known.

Two instances this past year solidified my position and identity as an indispensable individual at my place of employment and why I am where I am in my career.

The first instance, and many of you have read in the past about this situation, was of constant complaining, whining and the sever lack of efforts or knowledge some of my “colleagues” posses. Granted I do my fair share of complaining, as well as the entire IT staff, but it is of due cause and is a right. This individual cross the proverbial line of idle ridicule to down right challenging and degrading my integrity and performance. Crossing that line is like entering my den during the winter and smacking my ass to wake me up, bad very bad choice. Now this particular individual is your typical office gossip and complainer, you know the type. This is the type that sits around all day talking about how hard they have it at work (yet do only the bare minimum to get by), how they only perform up to their position description (because it is above their pay-grade) and yet complain about being under paid and unappreciated. On a side-note but on the same tangent, you only get paid for as much as you are willing to put forth the effort into doing, sitting on your ass is going to get you to shit… literally. Now back to the program… Sometime in October, this individual in-front of my immediate supervisor, all of his fellow department colleagues as well as the head director of our company, proceeded to say, with his feet on his desk and a Google Search screen up for type of doll or something, “Let Matt do it, I have tested it the first time and it didn’t work so obviously he has no idea what he is doing and he has tons of time to do user testing. Also I need him to do some data entry because that is above my pay-grade.” Oh boy, in front of everyone I let this shit-lazy worker know where I stood and where he stood (beneath me) and told him two things. “First of all, I am a developer, and unlike common users I think logically not emotionally, therefore I cannot perform user tests to test out the stupid things that you common users do to software applications, and all software applications go through testing stages, A bug in the software is not a warrant for judging someones capabilities, however, feet on a desk while surfing the internet while work is needed to be done and at the same time complaining about not being paid enough is a warrant to judge the dedication and mental capacity of an office worker. And second you lazy ass, maybe instead of complaining about being underpaid, show some initiative and do work duties that are not in your description and go above and beyond.” With mouths dropped and eyes bugging out by everyone in the office I turned and walked away saying “I have to get back to my office and continue with my job of making your lives easier.” What I am trying to say hear is, don’t let those less productive push you around and make an unintelligible attack on your character or your skills.

The second instance, and this one was even bigger than the first one, was one that had me walking a fine line on professionalism and personally attacking a higher up for their inaccuracies and mistakes in a project. A short history lesson of last year in regards to this project, my company took on a gigantic undertaking of hiring an outside company to completely redo our website, not to mention allowing an individual with a high ranking power to prepare and deliver the project contract. The entire year this project was underway, my fellow IT colleague and myself kept pushing our immediate supervisor for a “reclass,” basically a promotion, due to an overwhelmingly alteration and increase in our job duties but with his lack of commitment to getting things done at the office nothing came to light with that request, just stay with me, this last statement is an important factor in this instance and promotes the integrity of the first. Ok, back to the project. I was able to get my hands on the contract as well as the financials of how much the company was paying to complete this project. Two things, the first being the contract was missing many key aspects of a website contract not to mention a severe misstep that could have cost my company more than just the money, and second we were way over-paying for what was to be done and what was done. Fast-forward to the end of the year. The CFO approached me to discuss some issues people were having with my immediate supervisor and the conversation got around to the major project of the year. He asked my opinion about the overall aspect of it, and well laughing and head shaking aside, I let him know, professionally, what was done wrong and who did wrong. knowing all to well that he was the one that created the project contract and negotiated the overall cost. I let him know that with my previously contract work, I was involved and personally have created multiple project contracts, most of which could protect a single person against a large corporation like ours, with proof of concept of copies of previous contracts to back up my claims.  After a long talk with him about many other things, it was exposed that the throughout the company more importantly within the management there is a “list and ranking” of all the personnel in which they rank each employee based on how they spend their time during the day. This list is their way of seeing who is reliable, who works the most and who gabs and waste time the most, ranked best personnel to least favorable. Yours truly is #2 on the list, and the only reason I am not on top is because as I was told “You don’t have good PR skills with the other personnel.” And I was told that I need to work on that skill, for which I responded by telling the CFO that my desire is to only have good PR skills and meaningful conversations with those that can get the company ahead, meaning the management. Fast foward a little more, the CFO approached me and said that he spoke with the head director about everything I mentioned and said. With that feeling of overwhelming stress when you are stopped by a police officer, he informed me that the head director and himself are going to push forward with my reclass and basically skip over dealing with it through my direct supervisor. As well, they are going to be requiring me to be included in all software and website projects from now on with my words being put at the forefront. In this I am trying to show you that it is not what you say but how and to whom you say it to, and to show and open the eyes of your higher powered colleagues that you are a force to be dealt with and someone that they want with them in the long run. Show them that you have the skills and knowledge to make yourself indispensable and you will go through the roof, and leave all of those “It’s above my pay-grade.” co-workers in the dust.

I am sure there are going to be stresses throughout the new year, but as long as we all stay strong with our heads held up high and our convictions staying true, we all will persevere.

Safer sufferings – Thought of the Day

THIS IS AMERICA... WHERE THE FOUR FREEDOMS LIV...

THIS IS AMERICA… WHERE THE FOUR FREEDOMS LIVE – NARA – 515767 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As the great American days of yesteryear diminishes in the perspective views of my generation and past, most must wonder what has happened to those great American days.

The glory days of America where our freedoms were plentiful and our options of enjoyment were bountiful, do not seem, but are being taken away and controlled because they have been deemed “unsafe.” Dont you miss the days of yore, the days of pure fun and when America seemed to be an awesome and productive place to live.

When you were able to pile the family in the minivan or faux-wooden panel station wagon and head to the beach, stake your claims next to a cement ring and spent the entire day enjoying the sun, the wave and the salty sea air destroying your hair. Then the fires begin to roar as the horizon turns a reddish-orange hue, and the metal coat hangers get bent into makeshift cooking utensils for roasting marshmallows and weenies.

Or how about when the street would be closed down on the 4th of July because the entire neighborhood decided to hold a party to enjoy the day dedicated to our freedoms. Barbeques would be roaring with steaks, hotdogs and burgers, mothers sitting in circles enjoying the gab of whatever mothers talked about, and fathers in their tank tops holding a spatula in one hand, a beer in the other yelling at little Johnny to be careful when running around with those magical pieces of metal that shoot hot sparks out at a rapid rate. And in the dark of night, a five gallon bucket of water sat conspicuously close to burnt out spots on the street where the brave souls of the fire would light the fireworks as the kids and others oohed and aahed.

And when basically anything harvested or grown was safe to consume regardless of how it was made or what was injected into it. When sugar was pure cane and used in everything to make it sweeter and potentially trick kids into thinking that it was good for them. When a fast-food join was just that, a place to get low-cost, fast food that necessarily wasn’t the best food to be eating but it was so damn good, and the menu didn’t contain labels warning of MSG’s or fish cooked here signs or salads or only white meat in the nuggets or no pink goo in the meat. And when someone spoke about soy, they meant the dark spicey liquid used in chinese food.

Or how about when children were actually held responsible for their own actions and own failings in school, not the teachers or school districts or society, video games or music.

Or when professional sports athletes participated in sports knowing the risks to their health, mind and lives, and yet knowing that there could be no recourse or monetary gains if they got injured from the sports. Basically, when football was a mans sports, where blood, sweat and tears were the core foundation of showing a great game, and if a concussion occurred then that was the fault of the player and the risks were known and accepted.

Or when our words were made public and people were allowed to listen to them without jurisdiction on if it will offend someone, when our freedoms of speech were allowed to flow free.

Reminisce of these yore are due to an ever-growing issue with our local, state and country governments. If it is not or has not been obvious to you, the yesteryear of America were more free, and more enjoyable. The citizens were productive, families were large as well as bonds between neighbors. Life was more enjoyable back then. Then came the micro managing of our governments and elected officials who think in their own twisted and diluted worlds society will be safer by what they feel is safe for them. Our governments are slowly taking away the American feeling we all knew and loved, claiming those enjoyments as unsafe. Yet with them making everyone “safer” in their own eyes, American society seems to be sad and ailing.

Isn’t it strike someone odd that when the government kept their greedy ignorant self-righteous noses out of everyday lives of the American families, we were all much happier. But since the turn of health conscious, politically correct years have come upon us and governments have stepped in to control foods and enjoyments of yesteryear, American society doesn’t feel so… American anymore.

PhD Nazi at your service – Stresser of the Day

Doctor of Philosophy Degree

Doctor of Philosophy Degree (Photo credit: rwoan)

PhD holders be on the look out for a down-to-earth thinker called the “PhD Nazi“.

PhD’s, ah the Doctors of Philosophy. Those whom study hard and pay through the keester for an over-priced education, just so they can wave it around and believe in their own philosophical warped-fantasy world that they are above all us commoners by simply the power of having more knowledge. Mind you, not by acquisitions of vast knowledge of many things, but a vast knowledge of one minute particle of existence that is a small part of everyday existence. Medical and Psychological PhD’s need not to heed this warning as your services are greatly appreciated and have been found many times over useful.

No, the “PhD Nazi” is after those PhD’s that signify knowledge of quirks, space and numbers. The Scientific and Mathematical PhD’s that is. These living under a rock-bound hermits have no clue of common sense nor do they contain the skills to correspond with any other human outside of their own “clique.” Their reading and comprehension skills are putrid and lacking any type of useful English understanding. Their arrogance, unkept and bizarre existence amongst normal civilization seems to be upheld by some strange law that the piece of paper with the words PhD means that they should be served by those with less possessions. Yet, with such a vast knowledge of one minute atom of civilized existence, they do hold in their possession the incompetence and social distortion of a bully.

If the “PhD Nazi” should run into one of these neurotic self-proclaimed deities, you will hear a loud “No PhD for you!”

Tormented Talking Taxis – Stresser of the Day

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead.

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Each morning, driving through the cornucopia of cellphone talking, newspaper reading and fattening breakfast burritos eating drivers on one of the major Southern California highway’s is enough to make anyone go mad with blissful banter of bad behaviors. However, those individuals are not the true stressors of my daily commute. No, they are easily dealt with through a quick hand-slam on the steering wheel to break them out of their comatose state of endless dreary driving. The true culprit’s of my impending arrival to another drab day at work are the relentless droves of Blue and White taxi drivers standing in the middle of the street, smoking their “Camels” and engaging in idle banter of the next rising of Allah.

Around the bend, following the posted speed limits, the treaded tires grip the road, the gas pedal becomes a static stick in the floor as the brake pedal becomes an emergency bail out of epic proportions. A group of tainted taxi drivers stand vicariously close to the center of the road. Lethargecally laughing at their devious terror plots to cause an accident, they grin in the direction of the driver with their smoke-stained hollowed out unorganized mouth of teeth peaking from their ratty dark beards. The hand slams on the horn, blaring a high-octane raging horn in the inconsiderate imbeciles, seems to have no effect. Their cynical stares into the windshield, rudely running a dagger of hate into the drivers eyes angers him so. The merciful middle finger extension acquires a somewhat disdained reaction of the same. Words of incriminating evidence for hate for both taxi drivers and race, finally, a rebellious reaction to the blast of discrimination not to mention the screeching of the revved up rear axle wheels beginning to barrel down on the group. The groups hurriedly moves to the side and an early morning yelling match spews onto the street as the driver slows the pace to exchange words with the pustulous persons of the taxi world.

Every morning, not just myself but other drivers have to deal with these iconic idiots of the taxi world on the way to work. They have no due diligence to mind traffic laws driving nor do they mind any laws with impeding of thru traffic on streets. Get the hell out-of-the-way or someday one of you will be turned into a speed bump by a unknowing unobservant driver.