Tormented Talking Taxis – Stresser of the Day

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead.

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Each morning, driving through the cornucopia of cellphone talking, newspaper reading and fattening breakfast burritos eating drivers on one of the major Southern California highway’s is enough to make anyone go mad with blissful banter of bad behaviors. However, those individuals are not the true stressors of my daily commute. No, they are easily dealt with through a quick hand-slam on the steering wheel to break them out of their comatose state of endless dreary driving. The true culprit’s of my impending arrival to another drab day at work are the relentless droves of Blue and White taxi drivers standing in the middle of the street, smoking their “Camels” and engaging in idle banter of the next rising of Allah.

Around the bend, following the posted speed limits, the treaded tires grip the road, the gas pedal becomes a static stick in the floor as the brake pedal becomes an emergency bail out of epic proportions. A group of tainted taxi drivers stand vicariously close to the center of the road. Lethargecally laughing at their devious terror plots to cause an accident, they grin in the direction of the driver with their smoke-stained hollowed out unorganized mouth of teeth peaking from their ratty dark beards. The hand slams on the horn, blaring a high-octane raging horn in the inconsiderate imbeciles, seems to have no effect. Their cynical stares into the windshield, rudely running a dagger of hate into the drivers eyes angers him so. The merciful middle finger extension acquires a somewhat disdained reaction of the same. Words of incriminating evidence for hate for both taxi drivers and race, finally, a rebellious reaction to the blast of discrimination not to mention the screeching of the revved up rear axle wheels beginning to barrel down on the group. The groups hurriedly moves to the side and an early morning yelling match spews onto the street as the driver slows the pace to exchange words with the pustulous persons of the taxi world.

Every morning, not just myself but other drivers have to deal with these iconic idiots of the taxi world on the way to work. They have no due diligence to mind traffic laws driving nor do they mind any laws with impeding of thru traffic on streets. Get the hell out-of-the-way or someday one of you will be turned into a speed bump by a unknowing unobservant driver.

Garbage smell offends Foreign body – Stresser of the Day

Ok, most people know that certain cultures have a scheduled day of the month that is bath time. Offensive as their body odor is, I presume to ponder the possibility that the sweet decaying aromas of foreign bodies within their trash bins are to fragrant for these other sub-dermal decaying bodies themselves. I work at a place where we invite people from around the world, and it never fails but I seem to have those who believe bathing is a once a month type of service, kind of like an oil change. Each room has its’ own trash bin, small as it may be it is big enough for daily garbage disposal.

I used to keep mine outside, due to the position I am in and accessibility I have and I do not allow cleaning crews in my office. I began to notice my trash bin piling up with garbage, I don’t produce that much garbage and realized that it was these decaying bodies of ignorant matter depositing their trash into mine instead of depositing it into their. Well to curb this urge to not only make their own offices smell but to spread their putrid aromas around the hallways too, I decided to move my bin into my office. “Ha Haaa! They won’t be using mine anymore,” so I thought. I came back from making a trip outside and what do I see but one of those odor laden individuals walking out of my office. I looked into my trash bin and wouldn’t you know it that unbathed, unkept lazy fuck put her trash into my bin.

Just because you insist on keeping your body aroma to a sub-par level, even a dog wont sniff you, does not give you the right to pass it around like it’s a new-born baby.