PhD Nazi at your service – Stresser of the Day

Doctor of Philosophy Degree

Doctor of Philosophy Degree (Photo credit: rwoan)

PhD holders be on the look out for a down-to-earth thinker called the “PhD Nazi“.

PhD’s, ah the Doctors of Philosophy. Those whom study hard and pay through the keester for an over-priced education, just so they can wave it around and believe in their own philosophical warped-fantasy world that they are above all us commoners by simply the power of having more knowledge. Mind you, not by acquisitions of vast knowledge of many things, but a vast knowledge of one minute particle of existence that is a small part of everyday existence. Medical and Psychological PhD’s need not to heed this warning as your services are greatly appreciated and have been found many times over useful.

No, the “PhD Nazi” is after those PhD’s that signify knowledge of quirks, space and numbers. The Scientific and Mathematical PhD’s that is. These living under a rock-bound hermits have no clue of common sense nor do they contain the skills to correspond with any other human outside of their own “clique.” Their reading and comprehension skills are putrid and lacking any type of useful English understanding. Their arrogance, unkept and bizarre existence amongst normal civilization seems to be upheld by some strange law that the piece of paper with the words PhD means that they should be served by those with less possessions. Yet, with such a vast knowledge of one minute atom of civilized existence, they do hold in their possession the incompetence and social distortion of a bully.

If the “PhD Nazi” should run into one of these neurotic self-proclaimed deities, you will hear a loud “No PhD for you!”


Tormented Talking Taxis – Stresser of the Day

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead.

Taxis in Hemel Hempstead. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Each morning, driving through the cornucopia of cellphone talking, newspaper reading and fattening breakfast burritos eating drivers on one of the major Southern California highway’s is enough to make anyone go mad with blissful banter of bad behaviors. However, those individuals are not the true stressors of my daily commute. No, they are easily dealt with through a quick hand-slam on the steering wheel to break them out of their comatose state of endless dreary driving. The true culprit’s of my impending arrival to another drab day at work are the relentless droves of Blue and White taxi drivers standing in the middle of the street, smoking their “Camels” and engaging in idle banter of the next rising of Allah.

Around the bend, following the posted speed limits, the treaded tires grip the road, the gas pedal becomes a static stick in the floor as the brake pedal becomes an emergency bail out of epic proportions. A group of tainted taxi drivers stand vicariously close to the center of the road. Lethargecally laughing at their devious terror plots to cause an accident, they grin in the direction of the driver with their smoke-stained hollowed out unorganized mouth of teeth peaking from their ratty dark beards. The hand slams on the horn, blaring a high-octane raging horn in the inconsiderate imbeciles, seems to have no effect. Their cynical stares into the windshield, rudely running a dagger of hate into the drivers eyes angers him so. The merciful middle finger extension acquires a somewhat disdained reaction of the same. Words of incriminating evidence for hate for both taxi drivers and race, finally, a rebellious reaction to the blast of discrimination not to mention the screeching of the revved up rear axle wheels beginning to barrel down on the group. The groups hurriedly moves to the side and an early morning yelling match spews onto the street as the driver slows the pace to exchange words with the pustulous persons of the taxi world.

Every morning, not just myself but other drivers have to deal with these iconic idiots of the taxi world on the way to work. They have no due diligence to mind traffic laws driving nor do they mind any laws with impeding of thru traffic on streets. Get the hell out-of-the-way or someday one of you will be turned into a speed bump by a unknowing unobservant driver.

The Don of Anti-Mafia’s – Laugh of the Day

Mafia Sign - Paris France

So there I was heading out of my office to get some refreshing ice-cold water, when I see two young adults standing at my colleagues door. To what do my curious ears hear, they informing him that at our place of employment, the young IT programmers are trying to start a union (better term is mafia) and was wondering if he wanted to sign a petition and get information in regards to what the mafia has to offer. As I strolled past I let out a loud, “Oh Hell No!!!, imagine referring to your union as P.U. for Programmers Union, it will work just as bad as it sounds.”

Leisurely strolling back around the corner, still laughing at the thought of the P.U., I see these two yahoo mafia inductees standing in my door. The look on their face was priceless; A stern, proud, and aggressive demeanor but their eyes showing fear, they begin opening their sewage holes about joining the P.U.. Their failed attempt of looking tought, was met with my bald-headed thug glare to their nervous eyes, and I promptly said “Don’t even think about talking to me about a union, they are a corrupt group of mafia impersonators only wanting to take advantage of people, promote laziness, corrupt the government and are a waste of time.” I sat down and they stepped forward continuing to spew union garbage. I stood up, walked towards them and as soon as they passed through the doorway to my programming sanctuary, I kicked the doorstop away and slammed the door in their ignorant faces. After, I heard a loud laugh coming from behind me, through my colleagues wall. And I hear faintly, “Only you can get away with that kind of stuff!! Nice job!”

Stop smoking in the smoking section please – Stresser of the Day

Store room in South London pub showing discard...

There I was, sitting in the small courtyard at work, minding my own business and performing one of the most heinous habits of them all. No not digging for gold, picking my seat or picking at my potatoes. I was filling my lungs with the cancer causing chemicals of tar, nicotine and arsenic. Yes I know smoking is bad and that it is shortening my life. Please don’t say “Just quit smoking“, if you say that will find something that you use to take stress, anxiety and anger away and tell you to quit that, its only fair. I know I have to quit, it’s not that easy but soon i am going to have to stop smoking at work all together anyway, but that story is for another time.

This story is what happened today, when I was enjoying my time to relieve some work related stress. I was sitting in a company designated smoking area, signs were clearly visible. If you look around, near every bench, there is a gravel vertical ashtray to deposit your spent cancer sticks; some ignorantly think it is a trash receptacle as well. As i was sitting there, a young man and woman proceeded to sit down two benches away, took out their, what looked like their regurgitated breakfasts and started to eat. I proceed to take my usual inhaling of poison and exhale with ease and see the stress exiting my body. Then I heard the usual, attention getter… “cough, cough.” It wasn’t to loud but just loud enough for me to hear. Then it proceeded to get louder and louder, and being a parent I have developed a keen sense of super sonic hearing. Under their breath i heard them say, Continue reading

Put your hands in the air! Back away slowly from the keyboard – Stresser of the Day

Happy to Use Computer Software

Image by Old Shoe Woman via Flickr

Some people got it, some people try but don’t and others well… They should not even attempt to get it.  What am I speaking of you ask? Life, no that is a portion of an enigma that will always run in your wildest fantasies. Love, that is not quiet something that someone “gets”, they more or less acquire it. Elected into the Presidency, well lets face it almost no one needs to do even desire that. I am speaking of skill and knowledge. Skill and knowledge to comprehend, learn and achieve desired results in your profession. Very anti-climatic I know, but let me explain.

Every six months I begin a new large project for my place of business. I have reluctantly dwindled down the calamity of catastrophes from the past wanna-be software programmer, whom was considered my predecessor. Seeing the garbage that spewed from this individuals decrepid fingers, I would like to take the old saying, “You can’t teach old dogs new tricks” and prove it wrong. I have approximately 20 years in the industry I am in, and I believe from what I have heard, that the “programmer” before me, has about 30 years. I am not sure what he actually did during those 30 years, but it definitely was not in creating organized and productive software and databases. It is painful to my ears and programming heart to hear from my fellow colleagues that they were told Continue reading