Insecurity vs. Red Flags

Insecurities, a bane to one’s self, a hindrance of progressing and a roadblock to many, is also a misread trait among couples, friend and family.  When it comes to the self, insecurities predominantly exist, when those insecurities are perceived to be directed towards another, there are quite a bit of times when it is not an insecurity but a red flag.

Red flags, we all know what these are. They are those pesky little things that go off in our head when we see things that remind us past moments, past actions and past downfalls. They are prevalent in our everyday lives, home-life, work, within family and friends and within the loving bonds of couples. Most people don’t say anything about it, while others do.

Now I am sure that there have been actions or words in my past, that has risen red flags, but has never been pointed out to me. To me, if I see a red flag I am going to say something about it, and here is why:

If a man keeps tight lipped, during questionable times or even loving times, when a red flag appears or keeps appearing, than that man is just not into his woman. 

A real man, one who cares about the relationship and his woman, would not be afraid to say something. A man who doesn’t say anything, could careless about either.

And this is true for women as well, if a woman doesn’t care who you are talking to, if you have tons of female friends and isn’t concerned if red flags appear, she just doesn’t care about her man or the relationship.

No, it’s not an insecurity someone has, it’s a Red Flag, it’s a “I’ve seen that shit before and it wasn’t good” thing.

So sit down with your loved ones, tell them the concerns you have over the red flags, work together to understand the reasoning behind it and make a concerted effort to bring down those flags. If you don’t talk about it, just walk out because you just don’t care.


It’s almost over? But… no it can’t be

Desert_backyardThree glorious weeks of exclusive self-absorption and personal relaxation, oh the joys of the holiday season. Each year yours truly is forced to take off 2 weeks for the holidays, at my own expense mind you, and I add a third just for good measure. Prior to hunkering the shop for the closing year and preparing for the onslaught of the next, visions and plans raced through my head of what I had planned at home.

A new home I settled into at the first of the year, a whole acre of beautiful luscious… sand. Alright there is more to the land then just the dreary tan of the gritty earth, but looking out it’s perfect, it’s virgin and it’s just waiting to be molded into a perfect landscape of vegetables and fruits and a picture perfect desert oasis. There is trimming, raking, weeding and theading abound, mulching and dozing the earth for it to be fertility sound, revamping with repairs, replacements, whosits and whatits with thatches and catches… oops sorry was thinking about “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” My home, a place I rent but one day will own, needs some love and care and I had plans to conquer some of those on my glorious break from the stress and conundrum of intellects at work.

Looking back as those quiet days come to a close, as I glance out my back window chugging my hot coffee, damn I haven’t done a single thing. As I shake my head, I realize… this place isn’t going anywhere and neither am I.

Safer sufferings – Thought of the Day


THIS IS AMERICA… WHERE THE FOUR FREEDOMS LIVE – NARA – 515767 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

As the great American days of yesteryear diminishes in the perspective views of my generation and past, most must wonder what has happened to those great American days.

The glory days of America where our freedoms were plentiful and our options of enjoyment were bountiful, do not seem, but are being taken away and controlled because they have been deemed “unsafe.” Dont you miss the days of yore, the days of pure fun and when America seemed to be an awesome and productive place to live.

When you were able to pile the family in the minivan or faux-wooden panel station wagon and head to the beach, stake your claims next to a cement ring and spent the entire day enjoying the sun, the wave and the salty sea air destroying your hair. Then the fires begin to roar as the horizon turns a reddish-orange hue, and the metal coat hangers get bent into makeshift cooking utensils for roasting marshmallows and weenies.

Or how about when the street would be closed down on the 4th of July because the entire neighborhood decided to hold a party to enjoy the day dedicated to our freedoms. Barbeques would be roaring with steaks, hotdogs and burgers, mothers sitting in circles enjoying the gab of whatever mothers talked about, and fathers in their tank tops holding a spatula in one hand, a beer in the other yelling at little Johnny to be careful when running around with those magical pieces of metal that shoot hot sparks out at a rapid rate. And in the dark of night, a five gallon bucket of water sat conspicuously close to burnt out spots on the street where the brave souls of the fire would light the fireworks as the kids and others oohed and aahed.

And when basically anything harvested or grown was safe to consume regardless of how it was made or what was injected into it. When sugar was pure cane and used in everything to make it sweeter and potentially trick kids into thinking that it was good for them. When a fast-food join was just that, a place to get low-cost, fast food that necessarily wasn’t the best food to be eating but it was so damn good, and the menu didn’t contain labels warning of MSG’s or fish cooked here signs or salads or only white meat in the nuggets or no pink goo in the meat. And when someone spoke about soy, they meant the dark spicey liquid used in chinese food.

Or how about when children were actually held responsible for their own actions and own failings in school, not the teachers or school districts or society, video games or music.

Or when professional sports athletes participated in sports knowing the risks to their health, mind and lives, and yet knowing that there could be no recourse or monetary gains if they got injured from the sports. Basically, when football was a mans sports, where blood, sweat and tears were the core foundation of showing a great game, and if a concussion occurred then that was the fault of the player and the risks were known and accepted.

Or when our words were made public and people were allowed to listen to them without jurisdiction on if it will offend someone, when our freedoms of speech were allowed to flow free.

Reminisce of these yore are due to an ever-growing issue with our local, state and country governments. If it is not or has not been obvious to you, the yesteryear of America were more free, and more enjoyable. The citizens were productive, families were large as well as bonds between neighbors. Life was more enjoyable back then. Then came the micro managing of our governments and elected officials who think in their own twisted and diluted worlds society will be safer by what they feel is safe for them. Our governments are slowly taking away the American feeling we all knew and loved, claiming those enjoyments as unsafe. Yet with them making everyone “safer” in their own eyes, American society seems to be sad and ailing.

Isn’t it strike someone odd that when the government kept their greedy ignorant self-righteous noses out of everyday lives of the American families, we were all much happier. But since the turn of health conscious, politically correct years have come upon us and governments have stepped in to control foods and enjoyments of yesteryear, American society doesn’t feel so… American anymore.

One of the most irritating sounds – Thought of the Day

I hear it everyday. You the same, you just may not know it. On the hard dry concrete, the wet dew moistened grass or the electrically charged carpet it’s inevitable and desired. Desired to be lazy effortless the sounds that derives from dragging ones feet across the waiting ground is absolute terror to the ears. Why do individuals insist on not walking properly by picking up their damn feet. Not only is it bad for their shoes and legs but also for others ears.

Throw out the moldy cheese? – Thought of the Day


If cheese organically contains molds when purchased, why do we throw cheese away if more mold grows on it?