Oh the arrogance and entitlements one becomes accustomed to based on the salary and position one holds. To chuckle under ones breath, to mildly scoff at the round-about indecisive and blindly leading ways of those with power, is to the reaction of someone falling over a crack in the sidewalk.
To think that a redesign project could be completed by those that are incompetent and unskilled in the technical world, let alone the project set forth of rehabbing a failed yester years design, would be anything but forgiving and chaotic, let alone as funny as a SMART car packed with clowns. One would think, a journey not oft traveled, nor chartered, the travelers would seek the wisdom and experience of one who has set out on that journey and is familiar with the territory that lays ahead.
This journey I speak of, the redesign of my company’s website. Leading the journey of this redesign are a few of the most non-technical and self-absorbed suits in our company. To start this journey, they recklessly tossed away the need to have the one person in the company sit in on meetings, or consult in regards to the current state of the website. With this misconception of them believing they could walk this path alone, they have succumbed to perils, adversity and hours of head scratching. When they were offered advice from myself or any other IT personnel, it was discarded.
The last straw, which basically told me, that my experience and any and all advice I give at work or in my own personal life is basically useless and unwanted. I was told by the Assistant Director of my company that my advice sucked and that what I suggested was unprofessional in regards to a company website. Mind you, I have over 20 years experience in the web industry. Then in the same breath, she criticized the fact that they were not made aware of certain things within the website that is now causing issues. HAHA, just shaking my head and exit stage left.
You see them on the streets, and on the highways. They drive slow and a little erratic at times. You get behind them and struggle to stay sane as the slow dragging speed gets your adrenaline going to get around this person. You switch lanes speed up and are about to cuss out the person driving like an old…. wait it is an old lady. You know these types, the little ol’ ladies that can barely see over the steering wheel driving about a foot away from the windshield, smoochinthe steering wheel. I’ve seen then even joked about them. My grandma, bless her soul used to drive this way, it was always so cute to see her drive this way.
Wouldn’t you know it, karma comes back and I have noticed that I am starting to get closer and closer to the steering wheel. its kinda comfortable. Maybe I am getting as old as my kids say I am.
I was informed on Tuesday, by my fiance that they have a mouse in their house. I was then let in on a little secret that she along with most of the women in the house are deathly afraid of mice, keep this in mind while reading this. From Wednesday till today, the kids were trying to scare her my making small noises and saying they saw the little creature. She would freak out and so forth.
Tonight, I went over to visit them and maybe catch a glimpse of the quiet house mouse. Toward the end of the night, one of our daughters came running up the stairs proclaiming she saw the mouse. So being the only real man of the house (our two eldest boys are still little girls at heart), went down stairs to try to find and catch the little bugger. While I am moving large pieces of furniture around and looking under things, I didn’t realize that I attracted a large audience, quite a large one. Picture this if you may, 5 girls standing at the top of the stairs behind the railing, eyes fully wide open and holding their breath in anticipation of me capturing the restless native that is causing a stir. For being deathly afraid of something, they sure were dying to see me catch the thing.
You have the greats, Terry Fator and Jeff Dunham, I now present to you the up and coming new talent… ButterballTurkey! No need to applause just yet, he only does animal sounds for now. My daughter and fiance were prepping the turkey earlier today; taking the gizzards out, stuffing the belly and buttering Butterball in its dressing tray. After the tedious duties of making Butterball look his best, it was show time.
My daughter picked Butterball up, it was showtime! The crowd was ready to see this new phenom take the stage. Butterball was so anxious to get on stage, that he just couldn’t hold back. As he stood up from the dressing tray, the butter slathered over his skin caused an air pocket against his tray and the cold air got him going, he did his famous impression… “Snnnort Oink!” He always does an awesome pig. The crowd went crazy, my daughter looked up and shouted “Butterball oinked at me, I didn’t know they make pig noises!” and my fiance had to cross her legs to contain herself from laughing so hard.
Butterball was a huge success, the crowd loved him and expect a return with more impressions next year.