Secede to Solitude

As I sit here, late in the High Desert quiet dark cool evening, the future is pondered. Losing one family member Friday afternoon and another in the emergency room… yet again, these two family members both have spouses, family and friends that love them and provided a safe place within personal space to feel comforted and secure. Reveling in the Forty-four years; Kinship, friendships and relationships came and went, basically all were bad.

The kinship was for the most part the fault of this singular body. Efforts of parenthood was a pure failure. Efforts with extended family just never seemed to gel.

Friendships, after turbulent times came to abrupt ends, and no efforts to find new bonds ensued. Quite simply put, there is no conscience reasons to have any friends.

Relationships, well those are pure enjoyment. All have failed for some reason or another, and the opposite gender was always to cheat and/or leave. I guess those two kind of go hand-in-hand.

That last one, it is a continuous struggle. It has been concluded that there is no hope in finding love again. Attempts have been made, but it has become obvious that this individual is not appealing to the opposite sex. Although there are those that desire to become acquainted, but there is lacking of certain criteria that turns the head away; No vehicle, job or still living with parents is definitely not appealing, as well, having a litter of children is not something that is desired either.

With all of this culminating background and with the instances of my two family members, there still is a desire to be in solitude. The white flag has been raised high on its mast and is flying proudly and a little sadly in the High Desert winds.

Insecurity vs. Red Flags

Insecurities, a bane to one’s self, a hindrance of progressing and a roadblock to many, is also a misread trait among couples, friend and family.  When it comes to the self, insecurities predominantly exist, when those insecurities are perceived to be directed towards another, there are quite a bit of times when it is not an insecurity but a red flag.

Red flags, we all know what these are. They are those pesky little things that go off in our head when we see things that remind us past moments, past actions and past downfalls. They are prevalent in our everyday lives, home-life, work, within family and friends and within the loving bonds of couples. Most people don’t say anything about it, while others do.

Now I am sure that there have been actions or words in my past, that has risen red flags, but has never been pointed out to me. To me, if I see a red flag I am going to say something about it, and here is why:

If a man keeps tight lipped, during questionable times or even loving times, when a red flag appears or keeps appearing, than that man is just not into his woman. 

A real man, one who cares about the relationship and his woman, would not be afraid to say something. A man who doesn’t say anything, could careless about either.

And this is true for women as well, if a woman doesn’t care who you are talking to, if you have tons of female friends and isn’t concerned if red flags appear, she just doesn’t care about her man or the relationship.

No, it’s not an insecurity someone has, it’s a Red Flag, it’s a “I’ve seen that shit before and it wasn’t good” thing.

So sit down with your loved ones, tell them the concerns you have over the red flags, work together to understand the reasoning behind it and make a concerted effort to bring down those flags. If you don’t talk about it, just walk out because you just don’t care.