It’s almost over? But… no it can’t be

Desert_backyardThree glorious weeks of exclusive self-absorption and personal relaxation, oh the joys of the holiday season. Each year yours truly is forced to take off 2 weeks for the holidays, at my own expense mind you, and I add a third just for good measure. Prior to hunkering the shop for the closing year and preparing for the onslaught of the next, visions and plans raced through my head of what I had planned at home.

A new home I settled into at the first of the year, a whole acre of beautiful luscious… sand. Alright there is more to the land then just the dreary tan of the gritty earth, but looking out it’s perfect, it’s virgin and it’s just waiting to be molded into a perfect landscape of vegetables and fruits and a picture perfect desert oasis. There is trimming, raking, weeding and theading abound, mulching and dozing the earth for it to be fertility sound, revamping with repairs, replacements, whosits and whatits with thatches and catches… oops sorry was thinking about “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” My home, a place I rent but one day will own, needs some love and care and I had plans to conquer some of those on my glorious break from the stress and conundrum of intellects at work.

Looking back as those quiet days come to a close, as I glance out my back window chugging my hot coffee, damn I haven’t done a single thing. As I shake my head, I realize… this place isn’t going anywhere and neither am I.

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Same ignorance and stress, Different Year – Stresser of the Day

Cover of "Office Space (Special Edition w...

will be doing a piece on this soon enough

Hi Ho, Hi Hohhh… It’s back to work I go. Well my fellow stressed out followers, after a long 2 weeks of blissful Eden like vacation, it had to happen. The dreadful day of returning to the office for another year of stress and ignorance from high intellectuals who have no sense of common sense.

The day started out with the usual doldrums drive along the 210 to the 10 freeway with the usual “hands-not-so-free” cell phone chats, texters and bong smokers with the occasional old person driving so slow and so close their windshield that their breath can steam the windows. Once I arrive in my office, I open my email to begin reading some absurd and cryptic emails from my bosses. Along with those trash bin headed emails, I notice a ton of emails from would be participants for a few of our events, that for some reason expect people to be available 24 hours a day 7 days a week, no matter how mundane or insignificant their requests are. For instance I received 12 emails from the same individual asking to add something for him to our website, all over the course of 4 days (Mind you an “Auto-Responder” from the webmaster was sent out each time this impatient pest sent an email).

One email stood out especially brutal for me, because it showed the true lack of commitment and dedication this supposed boss had for the company. He instructed my immediate superior and myself to let anyone in, who comes wanting to get into his office, while he was away to “use his books.” Uh excuse me Mr. PhD. Continue reading

New Work Year countdown T minus 18 hours – Laugh of the Day

Cover of "Back to Work: How to Rehabilita...

Well vacation, it’s been a blast.  You provided me with relaxation, a stress free environment and a sense of calm that rests over a dry cold night on a lake.  Even though I did not achieve half of what I wanted to achieve during my two and a half week haitus from my daily grind, I did enjoy those things that were accomplished.

The countdown has started till I have to rise like the early bird and catch the daily worm of traffic back to work. It doesn’t help that I get an up-to-date countdown reminder by my son. Every 10 minutes he comes to me and says… “It’s almost time dad, start getting ready!” I know it will be getting old and I will be turning into a frustrated mass of bubbling matter later this evening. However, I will look back and say to myself that that was one great vacation, and even though I dread to be consumed by the ignorant stresses of work, I am still happy to sit in my office and create wonderful tools for my people.

Bon voyage, farewell oh sweet vacation. Till next time.

Vacation turns into runaway train – Stresser of the Day

Joe tries to get a pulse from a lethargic Fari...

Vacation time, ah the joys of going to bed late, rising after the sun has warmed the ground and brightened everyone’s’ day and not worrying about any stress relate requests from ignorant employers or customers. Not to mention the drool enhancing lethargic state that one rests into. It’s a time to focus on one’s self and doing the things you enjoy doing or have to be done around your life and home. Then the final stretch of the vacation comes around.

In the beginning its like the little engine that could, slow going, and when the peak hits, it turns into a run away train. The long night sleeps turn into short naps and the day’s sun flies across the sky like a jet and the hands of time turn like a whirlpool. Are we mentally speeding up the days in anticipation to return to work? Yeah right, I don’t think that is necessarily true or even unfathomable. Who would want to return to the old grind stone after the relaxing time they had during vacation.

This phenomenon is happening as I write, as my vacation is dwindling down to its’ final days. Last week went by slow, so slow I ran out of things to do during the day. All of the sudden, realization has kicked in that there are only a few days left of my paradise. the stressless days of vacation have dwindled upon my acceptance of the soon to come stress of idiotic and senseless requests pour in from those that have no clue on the processes and technical skills needed to make everyone happy.

Oh the glory days of vacation, how you come and go like storm clouds of a California sky.

Spoiled bosses ruin Christmas vacation – Stresser of the Day

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

So I have taken a two-week vacation for this Christmas, plans of relaxation and work around the house turn my stress into a sense of calm and tranquility. Like a brick thrown through a stained glass window, the smiles and relaxation begin crashing down. The bosses at where I work have become so spoiled in getting what they want, that they believe that a vacation for an employee does not constitute an actual departure away from work in its entirety.

My immediate supervisor put out an APB to everyone at my place of business that all work on our website and business software needed to be brought to my attention prior to the close of Thursday, did anyone listen… No! of course not why would they. Instead of respecting the vacation time of an employee they would rather continue kissing the asses of those not directly associated with our business and/or continue to whine like little babies trying to get their way. Newsflash people!! I already have an 8-year-old and 7-year-old who try that whining with me, and as some of you know, that whining does not work with me.

I am respecting my supervisors instructions and ignoring those whiny little peons until I get back. Next time, you might want to consider reading your email thoroughly and understand that unless it is a business halting emergency, all your ridiculous miniscule requests will go unanswered until I resume work in the New Year.