Monthly Archives: December 2011

Dec 30 2011

Runaway train takes a sudden detour – Stresser of the Day

A man mid-sneeze. Original CDC caption: "...

So as you know my vacation is quickly coming to a sad end. The minutes, hours and days have flown by. Wait, put on the brakes for a minute there. As the brakes screech to an ungodly halt, I hear the faint sounds of coughs, then a sniffle and then the glorious spray of a sneeze explodes from my mouth. As i was just getting ready to put the fond memories of my first scheduled vacation in ages to rest and enjoy the last few remaining days away from my prison on the west coast, I come down with something called the cold flu.

It’s a double whammy for me, Im stuffed up, sneezing and coughing and worse of all my joints and muscles ache so moving is not really an option. My plans to celebrate the incoming New Year with my fiance and ultimately celebrating the birth of my beautiful loving fiance on the first of the year may be headed out the cold drafty window. It’s funny how you plan on going out with a bang and instead you go out with a cough and sneeze. What a disgruntled way to end the year

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Dec 28 2011

Vacation turns into runaway train – Stresser of the Day

Joe tries to get a pulse from a lethargic Fari...

Vacation time, ah the joys of going to bed late, rising after the sun has warmed the ground and brightened everyone’s’ day and not worrying about any stress relate requests from ignorant employers or customers. Not to mention the drool enhancing lethargic state that one rests into. It’s a time to focus on one’s self and doing the things you enjoy doing or have to be done around your life and home. Then the final stretch of the vacation comes around.

In the beginning its like the little engine that could, slow going, and when the peak hits, it turns into a run away train. The long night sleeps turn into short naps and the day’s sun flies across the sky like a jet and the hands of time turn like a whirlpool. Are we mentally speeding up the days in anticipation to return to work? Yeah right, I don’t think that is necessarily true or even unfathomable. Who would want to return to the old grind stone after the relaxing time they had during vacation.

This phenomenon is happening as I write, as my vacation is dwindling down to its’ final days. Last week went by slow, so slow I ran out of things to do during the day. All of the sudden, realization has kicked in that there are only a few days left of my paradise. the stressless days of vacation have dwindled upon my acceptance of the soon to come stress of idiotic and senseless requests pour in from those that have no clue on the processes and technical skills needed to make everyone happy.

Oh the glory days of vacation, how you come and go like storm clouds of a California sky.

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Dec 27 2011

Sniffles turn into runaway leak – Laugh of the Day

Sick Boys

Why are kids so defiant? Well why not, it actually gives us parents a good reason to say “I told you so!” Last night my son began to get the sniffles, just a little here and there. We stopped off at a department store to get a few things with my fiance, and those sniffles turned into loud nostril clearing snorts. My fiance turned to him, and as a very caring and loving woman and mom she is, asked if he wanted us to buy some medicine to help him get better and to get rid of the sniffles and felt his head to make sure he wasn’t getting a fever. He was adamant about the fact he wasn’t getting sick and didn’t need any medicine. We bought some anyways, just to be on the safe side.

Come this morning, I hear what I think is a full-grown male pig in my living room, snorting, sniffling and coughing up what sounds like a huge lung. It was my son wrapped up tightly in a blanket, playing Xbox 360 while trying to keep his nostrils from breaking like a dam from the run off after a huge storm. He had tissues everywhere and his nose was beat red and not to mention his eyes looks like they were beat up by a turnip. He is sick!!

HA HA!! We told you so!

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Dec 25 2011

Daughter disses dad for the holidays – Stresser of the Day

Father and daughter, Poland

Merry Christmas Everyone!

This stresser is dedicated to a man who has dedicated himself to his family without prejudice, sacrificed without blame and stands for all that is good in a father, my best-friend in the whole world.

I do not understand how a father who has done everything in his power to ensure that his children are happy, healthy and living decently (even renting one of them a 2 story house) can be treated like he is lower than dirt by one of his children. It is sad that regressive memories and a sense of entitlement can turn a daughter into a ruthless, heartless broom who sweeps those of no interest to her under the rug.

I was told today by my best-friend, that his daughter wasn’t coming by for Christmas, because she would have to wake up earlier than she usually does to stop by and visit her father, who has given her the world, for even 15 minutes on Christmas day. Mind you, she passes his house every time she goes to her mother’s house, which are about 10 minutes apart. This is where she was heading today, to see her mother and her mother’s family for Christmas. Instead, she wanted to have her and her children’s present delivered to her by her brother. This wouldn’t even be a possibility Continue reading →

Dec 23 2011

Double Entendre causes embarassing laugh – Laugh of the Day

Only the serious know how to truly laugh

So I was pulling in the gas station today, when I decided to ask my son to pump the gas for me while I ran into the Vons Quick-Mart. He happily obliged and I took a quick stroll inside. I came outside and that is when the foot got stuck in the mouth. Keep an open mind and think like a guy for a few seconds while you read the words that were said. Remember this was outside and out loud in front of a full 12 station gas station.

What is a Double Entendre: its a word or phrase that has a double meaning.

Son: “Dad I spilled some.”

Me: “What happened?”

Son: “I couldn’t get it in in-time and it squirted out all over the place.”

Me: “What do you mean you couldn’t get it in?”

Son: “Well it was hard to find.”

Me: “It’s right there, you can’t miss it.”

Son: “It is a very small hole, and it was hard to find.”

Me: “(Snickering) Dude! Shhhhhhh.”

Son: “Well it was a tight fit dad, and I squeeze it trying to get it in and it just squirted out. It was hard to fit in to too.”

Me: (Laughing) “Dude! just pump the gas.”

By this time a guy next to me was busting up laughing and a woman walking by slowed her paced, and her jaw dropped and I heard a giggle. The more he talked and tried to explain, the further his foot got into his gut. It wasn’t until after he finished, got in the car that he realized that what he was saying was being heard as something completely different than pumping gas.

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